Sunday, August 21, 2005

DO-IT-YOURSELF RELIGION

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By Elaine Meinel Supkis

Today, a rich, wrinkled old man left his palace to tell people about religion. From the BBC News:
The Pope told the crowds there were dangers in people finding their own religious routes.

"If it is pushed too far, religion becomes almost a consumer product," he said.

"People choose what they like, and some are even able to make a profit from it.

"But religion constructed on a 'do-it-yourself' basis cannot ultimately help us," he said.

"Help people to discover the true star which points out the way to us: Jesus Christ."
OK. Um, hate to tell Mr. Pope this news but Jesus was this guy who was the ultimate "do-it-yourself" dude. He also like to do the religious shopping thing what of taking all sorts of odds and ends from paganism and turning it into his own toys, for example. Like Christmas. Pure pagan, stolen by the Christians and used for commercial reasons today!

Then there is Oester. You know, the sun goddess's high holy day, taken away. Midsummer celebrations, the fall Equinox, Halloween, all the Great Days, taken by the grabby Church that latched onto wells and mountain tops and ancient oak trees and fair meadows that were all dedicated to all sorts of gods and goddesses.

Geeze. Christianity became all about solar/lunar events which is weird since it supposedly was about this guy, you see, who decided to make up his own religion. He took the story of Dionysius, for example, and claimed to turn water into wine and walk on water and make fish appear magically. What? That is what a religion is about? Instant fish and watery wine? Huh?

The Pope also called upon the Muslims to be peaceful so the Christian crusaders could steal all their oil. This isn't going to work. I assure you. If Jesus could turn water into oil then the Christians could stay home and make oil magically but alas.

The Church can only make wine into blood. Gack. That rip off of Dionysius is rather vampiric, isn't it?

Well, if Jesus came back like he threatens to, we can expect the Pope to dress him down for trying to create his own religion.

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